Who is 7x7 conversations?
We are the youth ministry of Apologetics, Inc. (formerly the C.S. Lewis Society). We’re positioned to encourage, guide, train, and equip interested adults on how to effectively start and build a discipleship group of teenagers empowering them to know Jesus, build their faith, obey his word and have a passion to share with others why they believe what they believe and how to defend it.
what does 7x7 conversations mean?
The number “7” represents the absolute completeness and perfection of God’s Word. This is our foundation where we’ve built each track to include 7 lessons, and every lesson topic is in question form. Why? Because teenagers have questions, and they want answers.
“Conversations” is the tool that we use to promote deep dialogue and discussion to help teenagers hash out their questions, doubts, and fears of what they truly believe.
Can I lead a coed group?
The best policy is to stick with these boundaries: male leader leads a boys group, female leader leads a girls group, a male and female leader together lead a coed group.
Will there be a lesson plan available to me?
Yes, there will be lesson plans and additional resources available to you. However, you have the freedom to add or take away to fit the needs of your group.
How long does a typical 7x7 meeting last?
The lesson plan is designed for 75 minutes. Do not be surprised if the group gets into deep conversation and wants to go longer!
Can I lead a 7x7 group if I do not have a teenager myself?
Absolutely!
What if I have a teenager who does not want me, as their parent, to be the leader of their group?
This is definitely something to consider in order to respect your own student. This is a normal feeling among teenagers and does not mean you are a “bad” or “unwanted” parent. Many times it just means that your student may be more comfortable opening up around someone outside of their family. If this is the case, look for a compromise and encourage your student to seek and join a separate group so that you can go forward and lead a discipleship group if you feel that is what God is calling you to do.
What if I’m not confident that I can lead this?
That is the best time to step out in faith. Pray through that feeling and remember that you can rely on God‘s strength and wisdom for true success. What happens in the process of discipleship is supernatural and goes far beyond our ability. Remember even the great biblical heroes of the Bible were unqualified and afraid to lead, but God used them mightily! In addition, we will provide Facebook Live, webinar, and Zoom trainings to help you along the way.
What happens if I don't know the answer to a question asked by a student?
We have additional resources to help you. You can email your question to info@7x7conversations.org, or post your question in our 7x7 leadership Facebook group. We will also have opportunities for you to “ask the apologist” on scheduled zoom meetings.
Where could my group meet if my house is not a possibility?
A host home, club house, park, church - anywhere with space and without distractions. Often, parents of group members offer their homes for meetings.
How can I lead a group if my spouse is not supportive?
That is something to pray about. The needs of your family come first and maybe it is something you can postpone until there is more support. Alternatively, you can enlist the help of a friend or ministry partner to help you lead a group.
What if my church does not approve since I have not been through their training program?
That decision will ultimately have to be made through prayer. Only you will know what the Lord is telling you to do. We are all called to join in The Great Commission, to go and tell others the Good News, making disciples, whether it is inside the four walls of a building or outside. Paul, the apostle, reminds us of this in Galatians 1:10 with, “Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.” Different approaches can be healthy. Discipleship complements the church. This is not an either/or but an “and.”
Wouldn’t someone who is “Bible-trained” do a better job than me?
Do not underestimate yourself. Jesus himself chose 12 ordinary men who were faithful, available and teachable. They were not religious leaders, nor did they hold a special position or title. As long as you are in prayer, reading God‘s word, and seeking to know him better every day, you are in a position to be a funnel and allow God, his words, and his voice to flow through you.
Besides education or bible training, there are many other factors to be successful in teaching teens. One of those is taking the time to listen to their questions, helping to guide the discussion and for them to seek and find answers. The 7x7 Conversations approach, along with our additional resources, will help you.
How is God‘s Word used within the lessons?
Scripture is foundational to our curriculum. We encourage scripture memorization, and highlighting and discussing key scripture as it pertains to the topic in each lesson.
What other resources does the C.S. Lewis Society give me access to?
We offer ongoing leadership training, Universe Next Door podcast, 7x7 App, in-person leadership training opportunities, quick tip videos to be a more effective leader, team building and ice breaker ideas, a community of like-minded leaders, Q&A support via email or social media community, once a month "Ask the Apologist" zoom, prayer community support, and more!
Do I need permission from parents to lead their student?
An absolute YES, since we are dealing with minors. We strongly encourage the need for parental involvement and communication. If you would like to protect yourself legally, you can download a release form and have the parent/student sign them.
What kind of insurance policies/paperwork would I need if something unforeseen would happen to the student under my watch?
Check your homeowner’s insurance policy. 7x7 does NOT provide special protection or insurance.
What things do I need to consider to create a home environment that is safe for everyone?
Lock up alcohol, guns, etc. Put away prescription drugs and any hazards on the property, and consider temperamental pets. Also, if you are worried about theft, please put valuables out of sight. Besides your main meeting space, make boundaries clear so students do not wander throughout your house.
What if a student comes late or leaves early, and is unaccounted for when parents think they are with me?
Communication is key. Let your students know up front how important it is to be trustworthy in the group and with their parents. Keep tabs on when students arrive and leave in case any questions arise among the parents.
What expectations should I have for the parents?
1) Parents give permission to disciple
2) Parents stay abreast on communication via text and/or email
3) Parents prioritize commitment for attendance to group meetings
4) Parents help contribute food (if applicable)
5) Parents are invited to go deeper and connect with their student through content-related questions after each meeting
6) Parents sign a permission/release form and provide contact information
What expectations should I have for the students?
1) Consistent attendance
2) Listen and participate with a good attitude
3) Respond to text communication
4) Be aware of everyone being in different places in their faith journey
5) Communicate with leader if they can't make a meeting
6) Make an effort to help meet any needs in each group
What is a good size for a 7x7 group?
Preferably 7-10 students for same sex and 14-20 for co-ed with both a male and female leader. 7x7 is designed for conversations, and therefore need small groups for effective discussions and discipleship.
Will I need another adult to help me?
You may. If your students are bringing their friends, it would be wise to have help. Communicate this need to those who believe in what you are doing. You would be surprised how many parents will step up to the plate, wanting to support your ministry - especially when they see the impact on their child. However one rule of thumb is to NEVER be alone with a student of the opposite sex.
Am I responsible to provide snacks/drinks/paper products for the students every time we meet?
Definitely not. From the beginning, communicate this need to all of your parents. Have them rotate and bring food. You could even assign one mom to oversee the sign-up list. Alternatively, let every teenager know to bring either a salty or sweet snack for every meeting. You or the host home can provide the drinks and other needs.
How do I handle dating relationships in a coed group?
Make it very clear that there will be no public display of attention WHATSOEVER. That means the entire time the students are there.
What boundaries and ground rules should I set for my group?
No going into bedrooms, no walking around the block, backyard, or private places, no coming late or leaving early as an “excuse” to hang out with other friends, no drugs or drinking. Respect the neighbors, don’t hang out in cars, and don’t be overly loud or disturb those around. Be cautious and aware of neighborhood rules, children, and traffic. Stress to them the importance of this behavior. If they break the rules or your trust, they will be asked to leave and not come back.
How do I deal with student drama within my group?
Address it among the students involved. Try to talk it out. Be clear on expectations and stress the importance of unity. No slander or gossip. Pray with them.
How do I handle inappropriate attire within my group?
Honesty is the best policy. This is a teaching opportunity to talk about modesty and how the Lord looks at the heart. Don’t come across judgmental, but be gracious and explain why boundaries are important - even in our clothing choices.
Should I counsel a needy teen?
Often, students in your group will seek personal counsel, advice, and time from you. Some students are more needy than others and require additional time and attention. Due to personal time constraints and responsibilities, we strongly recommend that you put some boundaries in place with your students. As students have questions and problems, we want to point them to Jesus first before we dive into the “fix it” mode. Teach and train them to do the following before they reach out to you. Keep them accountable to these things first:
1) Pray about it.
2) Do a Biblical word search on the problem at hand to find out what the Bible has to say about it. You can also access search engines, for example Google “verses on anxiety.”
3) Write down what the Bible verses say to you and then pray through them. Meditate on them and then be still to hear God speak to you.
4) Try to talk to your parent about your situation.
5) Reach out to your accountability partner.
IMPORTANT: Please remember that some of your students may require professional counseling or help. Never hesitate to reach out to those qualified to meet the needs of a troubled teenager who may be dealing with emotional and mental crisis, self-inflicted physical harm, or suicidal thoughts. Always seek out their best level of care as you continue to pray, love, and support them.
What happens if my neighbors complain about my group (parking, noise, etc.)
Apologize to them directly and explain what you are trying to do in order to “help” teenagers. More often than not, your neighbors will not only support you, but may even bring out some snacks for the teenagers!
What is the best way to connect new students into my group?
Partner them with one of your most outgoing students within the first 10 minutes they walk through the door. Educate your group on how important it is to not only recognize visitors, but to intentionally pull them into their conversations and ask questions. Have a student follow up with them, within a week. You can also do the same.
How do I handle the shy, introverted student?
Acknowledge them right away. Do not be uncomfortable with silence. Encourage others to talk to them. Ask questions that require answers other than yes or no. Who, what, when, where, how, and why questions work great. Everyone likes to talk about themselves. Consider having a personal conversation with them.
How do I handle the student that likes to control the conversation/talk too much/has too many opinions?
Acknowledge his or her comments and thank them for it. When you are discussing or asking a question, address it to a specific person in the group. Explain that you are doing this to give everyone an equal opportunity to share. Let everyone know that if they have additional things to share, they can come to you after the meeting is over.
How do I get my students to talk and share?
The best approach is to start with a team-building icebreaker activity. This allows students to let their guard down and become more comfortable with the group. Also, ask open-ended questions and show authenticity by being transparent as a leader. Be comfortable with long pauses of silence. Eventually, the students will open up.
What if I have a very needy student who requires lots of attention and counseling?
This becomes a case-by-case situation. Let that student know that you have 10-15 minute time slots after the meeting. That way you can address specific needs and choose if you would like to meet longer with them. At the end, pray over them and let them also pray and ask God for what they need. Agree with them in prayer for their requests. Don’t take that power or privilege away from them. Help them understand how important their prayer life is. You may have to refer the student/parent to professional counseling or even a pastor at your church.
Why add 7x7 Conversations to an already existing youth program?
7x7 Conversations exists to support the local church and other ministries, not compete with them. 7x7 groups have proven to connect unchurched kids to the church. Our curriculum helps to link arms with and affirm the body of Christ in our call to make disciples. Too often a teen’s spiritual diet is only 2-3 hours a week in church or large group youth programs. 7x7 can additionally provide a deep level of discipleship with solid biblical training. Our hope is that 7x7 Conversations will solidify one’s understanding of what they believe.
What do I do when my students aren’t listening to me?
Sometimes it is hard to lead - especially when you have expectations. You may feel that your group is disinterested and not putting forth their best efforts.
In group, they may be distracted, uninterested, thinking about what they are going to do afterwards, glancing at their cell phone, counting the specks in your carpet, or choosing not to participate. This can be very frustrating for a leader who has prepared the lesson with a heart to teach kids.
Understand that every student is on a different level and at a different place in life. They are not all interested in the same things, dealing with the same things, or care about the same things. Each lesson, question, and dialogue will hit them differently. This is when we need patience, praying that the Holy Spirit will help and convict them. We cannot be the Holy Spirit in their life.
God’s Word promises that it will not return void. Just know that if you are leading and teaching, you are being faithful and you are doing a good job. What the students get out of each lesson is not up to you, nor does it determine how effective or ineffective you are. One of them is learning and that makes all the difference in the world. One listening ear with life change is worth your effort.
Do your best to pray beforehand, set expectations, ask questions to keep students engaged, share with them “your perception,” have students hold each other accountable to listening and participating, have patience, pray together, and watch the Lord work.
What if a student who commits to the group is not regularly showing up?
This becomes a case-by-case conversation you need to have. Establishing expectations at the very beginning is important to let the kids know that attendance to the group is showing respect to everyone. Help them understand that their presence makes a difference for the purposes of accountability, unity, and growth. More importantly, approach these conversations in love rather than judgment. If a teenager finds value in the group, they will not make a habit of missing.
What happens after the first 7 weeks?
You can conclude by celebrating with your group doing a group activity, a family activity, or a work project. After that, take a break and ask the group if they would like to do another 7-week study.
What topics will be covered in the 7 weeks?
Every study varies with topical questions and relevant discussions. You can find these study titles here.